With family-wide sadness, my father announced that our favorite sushi place, Shiroi Hana, had been sold to its competitor Matsuya and had abandoned its all-you-can-eat plan. Long our bastion for B-grade sushi, questionable service, slow cook times, and happy bingeing, we were cast adrift on a sea of endless Northside sushi joints. Due to a previous bad experience with Matsuya, my dad decided to try out Sushi Para II (strangely spelled Too on their restaurant sign). Later of course, we would find out when his last visit was.
"In college."
"You mean forty years ago?"
"Yes."
This aside, we buckled in, ready to keep our expectations low. It's difficult when you go from a staple restaurant to a new one. Your old standbys are never the same: the silky spicy salmon handrolls, the generously crispy spider, the daintily smooth green tea ice cream. Sometimes they're missing altogether. So we sat down, doing out best to keep an open mind. Too bad the fish shut that door again on its own. All the fish that came out of the kitchen was indistinguishable from each other, the only exception the notoriously oily and pungent mackerel, which came out too oily and pungent. It's almost shocking that a half dozen specimens can taste the same and have no taste at the same time. Even more strange was that all of our fish came out warm. The worst was a seared peppery tuna, that had an offputting, chalky, almost chemical flavor to it.
The only semi-pleasant thing we ate was a handroll smothered in spicy mayonnaise, the lone very dim light in a very dark tunnel. The most incredible thing of all is that the place was inexplicably packed, full of attractive young couples chopsticking seafood over crowded tables. I have a Yelp policy on restaurants: sushi and Italian joints are always inflated by a star or two. It's time we set our sights higher.
0/5 stars
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